What Am I Waiting For?

Things haven't been too well for me... I was kicked out of school because we couldn't pay for tuition and I have NO luck whatsoever with finding work, I don't even have decent pants to look for work. My brother has gotten much more WORSE with his addiction; without his fix he's agitated, violent and volatile. There is no brain inside anymore-its like its a 15 year old in a 30 year old body. All he does is sit on his bum and smoke, eat and complain. Maman and I cannot cope with him anymore but we can't help him when he is 30 now. Father is just like his father with his brother; too stubborn and blind to what happens at home when he is not here. No one really knows how unhappy I am here and I can't really discuss it with my 'family'. The only person who makes me smile now is my beloved Holly.

I am so sick of it here that I looked up colleges where I can breathe and be myself at. Since I want to be a photojournalist the closest one I know is at Duluth and it is LGBTQ friendly!! However I a nervous about wanting to go there. The people I live with may not be family material but if I am 8 hours away I need a support system close by. I don't know anyone in Duluth...

Heaven In A Bite [Peanut Butter Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares]

This is what I made for Thanksgiving. If you love cream cheese, peanut butter and chocolate all in one, then these are the first class ticket to heaven for you. YUUUUUMMMMMY!!!!!!! This sweet treat is super rick and is really good in case you have a dire need for chocolate. It is fairly simple to make and kids would love it.

 

Serves: 16 squares

Ingredients

• 2 cups Oreo crumbs
• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• 16 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 ounces semisweet chocolate, melted
• 1/2 cup peanut butter
• 1 cup chopped peanut butter cups

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 325F degrees. Line an 8×8 pan with parchment paper (or lightly grease the pan).
2. In a medium bowl, mix together the Oreo crumbs and butter. Press evenly into the bottom of the pan. Bake 10-12 minutes or until set. Let cool completely.
3. In a large mixing bowl, beat together the cream and sugar until creamy, 2-3 minutes. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, until smooth. Beat in the cream and vanilla.
4. Remove half of the batter and place in a bowl. Beat in the melted chocolate until blended. Set aside.
5. With the remaining batter, beat in the peanut butter until smooth. Spread the peanut butter batter over the cooled crust then spread the chocolate batter on top. Top with the chopped peanut butter cups. Bake 35-40 minutes or until the center slightly jiggles. Cool completely to room temperature then chill in the refrigerator for at least 3 hours or overnight.

Halloween Franken Cake/ Apple Filled Cream Cheese Bundt Cake with Caramel Pecan Drizzle

I have decided to add my recipes I have baked. For my sister's Halloween party I made this Apple   Filled Cream Cheese Bundt Cake with Caramel Pecan Drizzle and just added vanilla cook and serve pudding with red food coloring on top. It was very good and everyone loved it!


Servings 8-10

Cake with cream cheese filling
 

 2 large apples [peeled and diced]  

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1 tbsp  cinnamon

1/2 cup butter [softened ] + 2 tbsps [divided]

2 cups flour

2 tsps baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup sugar + 1/2 cup [divided]

3 eggs + 1 egg [for filling]

1 tsp vanilla

1/4 cup milk

8 oz cream cheese

Zest of one lemon

Caramel Drizzle

 

4 tbsps butter

1/2 cup brown sugar [packed]

1 pinch salt

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup pecans [chopped] [[optional]]

1. Melt two tablespoons of butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add diced apples, nutmeg and cinnamon. Cook until apples are soft, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool.
    

   2.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees (f) and prepare a Bundt pan with butter and flour.

    

   3. Sift together flour, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together one-half cup of butter with the sugar. Add three eggs, one at a time and beat well. Mix in vanilla and milk. Combine with dry ingredients. Fold in cooked apples. 

    

   4. In a separate bowl, combine cream cheese, one egg, 1/2 cup sugar and the zest of one lemon. Mix until smooth in texture.

    

   5. Pour half the cake batter into prepared Bundt pan. Spoon cream cheese filling evenly over batter and then cover with remaining half of the batter. Bake for 50 - 55 minutes, or until cake is done. You can test doneness by pressing lightly on the cake to see if it springs back. Cool completely.

    

   6. Prepare caramel glaze with pecans. Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat. Add brown sugar and cook, stirring until sugar is melted completely. Add salt and cream and continue cooking and stirring for 2 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes. Remove cake from pan and spoon glaze evenly over cake. Sprinkle chopped pecans over top.

    

 

My Favorite Spot

Today I took some more photos from my favorite spot!!!

Time Has Passed

I am sorry readers I haven't been on for awhile. So many things have been happening to me!!! First off is school; it has been kicking my ass for awhile. I managed to keep up my grades and now that finals are over I can breathe again. I also had my birthday! No, it didn't turn out like I wrote about. I went to my sister's house and had cake there and the stay over night was terrible. First of all my sister never told me she had another boarder living in her basement but the worst part is we had uninvited company. They were acting rude all night and since I had to sleep on the floor I could hear people having sex in the basement!!! That really pissed me off... I had to yell at them to knock it off. I am never going to their house again.

Now I also can continue typing up my story now that school is over. We cannot afford school anymore; the price has been risen to $4000 now and there is no way we can afford the price. So I am going to wait till I turn 24 to file financial aid for myself.

Good news though! Yesterday I got a new camera so behold the new photos I took today!!!

Tada! So Far

Hi again! For this section I will be talking a little about me following up with a question in mind I can't seem to find an answer to and ending with an interest of mine (SSSHHH it is a surprise).

So I talked last time about my midterm, well I passed! So that is a relief even if I got a C+- it's still good. Now I don't have to worry for awhile till my FINAL and that isn't for awhile. Now I have to do a annotated bibliography...that's always fun... [<---- Insert sarcasm there].

My birthday is coming up and I dread and am excited over it. Normally no one gives a flip about or we can't afford it but now there are TWO people with jobs so maybe something will happen? It is my 21st which is pretty special important to me. I love my nephew but for this birthday I want it to be more adult orientated versus family. I just wish I had friends that lived near by whom can join me but sadly the only one is too busy with school and work.

Now, I know I talked about this woman I am smitten with but it doesn't sound very promising to me so far. Does anyone know any FREE lesbian dating sites I can check? Somehow I always end up with a free trial and nothing else. Doesn't help if they claim to be ALL free but end up it is just the trial. Also doesn't help if I am really the only lesbian in my small town.

........OK I know everyone is getting tired of my boring life so I will be showing you some o my interests [DRUM ROLL] photography!! Pretty much right now it is just nature and what not but I am passionate about it.

These were from my trip up north near Canada in a small tourist town. There was a trail leading down to the shore of Lake Superior-probably one of my happier memories in my life was visiting the wildness up there. I so love nature.

Not Your Average Me

Well times are tough for me right now and I am barely hanging on-good thing I have books! Let's see after finally getting the laptop back from repairs and updating everything I am now caught up with school. But alas MIDTERM is this Sunday and I am slightly worried! For those of you who don't know-everyone I am in school for Criminal Justice. Since I can only afford one class at a time and from our own pocket I chose to do Intro to Criminal Justice first. 

Also our ogre of a landlord has been threatening us with eviction!! Does anyone know how long they are supposed to give us? Supposedly we only have till the 15th. She hasn't fixed anything she told us she would though ( the toilet has problems, the ceiling in the laundry room looks as if it will collapse-that's just the tip of the iceberg!) Should we pay her even if she hasn't done anything for us??? 

Living with a bi-polar tobacco addicted brother doesn't help much either. All the money we wasted on him just so he can put a nail on his coffin. The fits he has when under withdrawal are horrid!!!!!!! He won't even try e-cigs. At least they won't kill you.

Last but not least my dying love life. Right now I am in love this amazing woman in Seattle whom I have encountered but I barely get to hear from her since we only contact via email. I asked about messaging or texting but she wants to do it email. It is frustrating at times!! I always have to check my email just in case.